So how do you recover from a broken heart when in lovers’ paradise?
When it seems that everywhere you go, you are reminded of how alone you are?
And if your heart-breaking ex is there too, how do you deal with inevitably bumping into them?
The first time I came to Bali was just after I had broken up with my partner. Originally we were coming together. With the intention for sunset dinners, romantic spa’s, long walks in rice fields and villa’s built for love. With my shattered dreams and broken heart, what on earth was I going to do, on my own in lovers paradise?
Upon arriving, I wasn’t so sure. Swamped by the endless romantic vistas, that we were supposed to enjoy together. Villas designed for lovers, that upon my entering only magnified the sound of only one set of footsteps. And every restaurant seemingly awash with the sickening (at the time) sight of tables set for two and lovers obviously all ecstatically happy and no doubt celebrating their accepted wedding proposals!
It was hard, but it turned out to be exactly the thing to help me to move on with grace and gusto.
In a town that frowns upon ice-cream binging and TV marathons, could it be that saturating yourself in endless yoga, healthy food and frequent visits to a water temple to finally cleanse yourself of your ex, once and for all could possibly do the same thing?
The cold, hard, but eventually liberating truth is that you don’t recover from a broken heart. It cracks you open and hurts like hell. But it’s that crack that, if you can allow it, love it and learn from it, will make you deeper, juicier and ready to love again.
To put it simply, you just need to replace that out-dated habit of: “Bad TV, ice cream, and bitching” with a new mantra of “Feel it, love you, and love your ex”.
Its time to suck it up, take responsibility. Actually feel your feelings rather than cover them up. Then love yourself just as you are, alone! And love your ex too, even though they may have hurt you, loving and forgiving will set you free.
Feel the pain and admit it.
It’s what makes you human and loveable. Immerse yourself in yoga, meditation classes, or anything else that help you to really feel it.
Be good to yourself.
Give yourself the love you feel you have lost. Indulge in massages, healthy food, plenty of rest and small blessings.
Give thanks and love to your ex.
For many, this will be the hardest step, but it’s also the most rewarding. You may have to dig deep to find this benevolent self, but you’ll find that connecting to the part of yourself that loved your partner when you were together, and genuinely appreciating the positive aspects of the relationship will ultimately help you to heal the wounds and move on to bigger and better things.
After all, you don’t have to stop loving just because the object of your affection is no longer present or even if they don’t return the same feeling.
Love is a state;
It’s inside you, It’s selfless and you don’t need there to be a ‘someone’ to project it onto, you can just keep loving. If you do this, then sooner or later someone will appear to return the sentiment.
The best thing about recovering Bali style is that, instead of becoming overweight, sludgy, and jaded, you’ll end up sparkly, shiny and authentically happy, which, let’s face it, is much more attractive.
And at the very least if you do bump into ‘them’ you will be looking and feeling like a God / Goddess — that always helps.
Thanks for reading, watching and sharing.