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1 – Date yourself

If you are waiting for someone to come along and make you feel beautiful and fabulous, you are going to be waiting in vain.  Your special someone will only ever be able to treat you as well as you treat yourself.

date-yourself

If you want someone to buy you flowers, take you to the movies, for that special but expensive dinner… do it.  Why wait.  The sooner you start treating yourself with the desire and respect that you want someone else to do, the sooner you will raise your standards and expect and accept that treatment.

2 – Sex yourself

You don’t need a partner to get your sexy on.. If you want to feel and be sexy and satisfied in this area, then start doing it NOW.  Cultivate your sexuality. Cultivate-sexuality

What turns you on?

The clothes you wear?  A special perfume? Silky sheets?  Get turned on, don’t be afraid of it, and start making love to life.  When you are turned on and sexy you can get sexual satisfaction from whatever is around you.  Then if you have a partner, you are already available to receive and or share with them.  It’s not their responsibility to turn you on.  Be turned on already and then you will be able to gladly accept their affections into your already juicy reality.

3 – Communicate without expectation

Be honest and say what you mean and what you want without expectations.  Remember a juicy relationship is one where you are seen.

Being honest and open creates real intimacy.

Most of the time when we feel dissatisfied with the depth of our relationship it is often because we are not revealing.  When we really show ourselves, we have the opportunity of really being loved.  Not just the superficial shiny mask that we show people.  Sure if you only show the mask, it might be loved, but you won’t feel it.

4 – Friendship

It’s really just too much to ask of yourself or your partner to always be your sexy, king or queen.  Sometimes what we really need is a friend.  This is one of the keys to a long lasting relationship.  Ask yourself if you are treating your partner like a friend?friendship

That means saying, doing and being the good bits as well as the hard bits that we do with friends.  This is such a relief as you get to be yourself and so do they.  If you aren’t getting sexy all the time, it doesn’t mean that there is a problem.  Our libido’s shift and change all the time and if you are friends then your relationship is diverse enough to be able to share all parts of life. This also means being able to step back and extract your own investments in your partner’s choices at times, so you can be a neutral ear. After all, your partner should be your best friend with juicy benefits.

5 – Fun

Have fun together.  It’s all too easy to become the managers of life together and have your relationship turn into a business transaction.  Wherever possible let your partner do his or her own mundane things.  Focus your attention on the juicier things.  Communication, sexiness, friendship and dating.  Of course there are inevitable mundane things you will need to do with your partner.  Just be sure that they remain a small necessary part of the relationship.

Laugh, joke, go on adventures and socialize together.

Let your partner think of you as the fun sexy friend that you are…

6 – Pleasure

Yes, it’s important.  Women need to feel pleasure to light up all the centres of their brain and be firing on all levels; it’s just the way it is.  Men need to have pleasure to allow themselves to drop into that deep well of expansive bliss.  And lets face it.  Its what makes life so damn juicy.Pleasure

Yes we are able to have and experience pleasure on our own.  And the awesome part of having a relationship is to be able to share that pleasure.  It not only feels good, it also sets up a positive association with your partner.  When you see them or think about them, the unconscious automatically associates that person with feeling gooooood. This is so important because life isn’t always a bed of roses, we do argue and annoy each other at times and these pleasure hormones that are released in the times we are being intimate with our loved ones, are powerful, often powerful enough to wash away the smaller, insignificant arguments or unease that otherwise could become the focus of and overtake the relationship.

7. Negotiate

Never compromise!

com·pro·mise 1. To arrive at a settlement by making concessions. 2. To reduce the quality, value, or degree of something.

When we compromise we will end up resenting the other person. It means that something of value to us has had to be ignored or de-valued. This is not what we want for the person we love.  Sure we want to have our own needs and values met, and surely this is what we want for our beloved too?  Negotiation means that both of you get to have your needs met.  A valid negotiation may take a little more time that a blatant compromise.  It takes having a conversation, being honest and continuing to find options until we find the one where both of our needs are met.  It may sound like a fairy tale, but I promise you it works.

8 – Keep growing

You both have issues, shadows and baggage.  It’s just the way it is.  Once you have established that you have all of the above aspects or at least their potential, you like and or love each other and have decided to actually take the magical mystery tour of relationship you both need to know that you and the other are not perfect and you will both do and say things that you are not proud of.  The key here is to move on from it.  Use these experiences to assist each other in growing.  Be kind, your partner knows that what they just did was a bit crappy so yelling at or blaming them will only make them defensive.  In the same way, give them a break, just because they forgot your anniversary, lost their emotional shit at Christmas lunch or even bigger more impactful things.

They are, after all just a person, doing their best.

If you can have an agreement of growth then these moments can be stepping-stones.  Don’t judge your partner by their worst moments, see if you can love them through it and focus on their strengths.  Relationship with someone you love is the most powerful growth tool and path to spiritual awakening.

Thanks for reading, watching and sharing.

With love,

xoxo

Belle