When we were little girls, how did we play?
In my memory and observation, I see little girls playing in a magical fairyland. In this place we create fantastical scenarios from our imagination. Fairies and unicorns and dancing divas. These are external projections of all the things that little girls are made of and it is natural as a little girl to do this, as we are innately connected to our imagination as a way of projecting into the world our feelings and intuition.
Little boys on the other hand usually play at building things and smashing them down too. Sticks and stones and other equally fun, yet totally physical activities. That’s not to say that some little girls at times and some little boys at times play in the other realm. Its really more accurate to say that it is the feminine and masculine energy that takes these directions and we are all made up of both, however for the most part little girls exist more so in the feminine and boys in the masculine.
If as a little girl you tried to get your boy friends to come and play fairies with you, they probably would have reacted by hitting you with their stick! However have you noticed how, if left unattended the same little boy would probably eventually come up to your game intrigued at what is going on. Obviously wanting to be a part of it however not ready to admit it, he would more likely come and smash down the castle that you have imagined into existence. Luckily some things change as we mature, but not all!
As we grow up as women, we are unfortunately forced out of our fairyland. We have to go to work and get things done in a very masculine oriented way. This is ok, the world of doing is masculine and we learn to put down our wings and pick up a stick to make our way in the world.
The problem here is that if you then come home to your man, or approach one when out on the town and you still have your stick in hand. A man will respond to you in the same way as he responds to the other males in his life with a stick, by feeling challenged he will go into battle mode.
Alternatively, if we are able, as women to learn to put down our sticks at the end of the day of battle and come back to fairyland with our men, then they will respond to you as a magical being, intrigued by your existence in this mystical place that they may not understand, but are magnetically attracted to.
Our fairyland as adults may not be about fairies and unicorns, however it is still a place of deep feeling and intuition and dancing. As adults, our fairyland is being focused internally and being aware of how we feel in response to the world around us. Not just to our man but to the beauty that we see, the anguish that we see in the world and how this feels in our hearts and our bodies. You don’t always have to speak about this or even try to tell him, it’s simply a matter of being focused on your fairyland.
As the masculine energy is directive and loves a challenge, the feminine energy is inwardly focused and relaxed and if you want a man to love you and treat you as a woman, If you want him to be focused on you and your desire then you need to be looking to your fairyland and be open. Let this be an invitation to come to you. If on the other hand you are looking at him and being directive and externalizing in your energy then he will be looking away at his direction, challenged by your masculine energy.
This is actually really good news girls as it means in order to have your man love you, come to you, take care of you and be attracted to you; your job is to focus on your fairyland. Whenever you are with him. Notice and explore how you feel, not what he is or isn’t doing, rather how it makes you feel. Focus on your responses to the world around you and how it makes you feel, rather than what should be done with it.
Again this isn’t to say that as women we cant be directive and action oriented, not at all. It’s just about when to choose the way you want to be and what response you want. To open up your vulnerability to a man you must first trust him and to trust him you must first trust yourself and the only way to do this is to know that you are able and willing always to be connected to your inner world, your grown up fairyland.
And once you have practiced this a little, you will be so relieved to be able to put down that stick and come back to your magical home.
Your inner little girl will be thrilled also.
Thanks for reading, watching and sharing.